Vocation

Three time Superbowl champion Harrison Butker delivered one of the most positive commencement speeches in modern history. He gave his address at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas, on Saturday, May 11, 2024. Butker, who is Catholic, spoke at a Catholic university in front of a largely Catholic audience. He briefly touched on important social and moral issues, such as abortion, IVF, surrogacy, euthanasia, and LGTBQ+, correctly recognizing them as “degenerate cultural values” that “stem from the pervasiveness of disorder.” This is known with certainty from the natural law, Sacred Scripture, Sacred Tradition, and the Magisterium. However, the media outrage was less about these important issues and more about his praise, adoration, and love for his wife as “homemaker”. The Magisterium is clear that “homemaker” is one of the highest callings for women and one of the most important functions of a flourishing community. Contrary to what is true and good, liberals lambasted Butker as a ‘misogynist’ and ‘bigot’ while viewing the title of “homemaker” as the most useless, pathetic, undignified, and oppressive job any woman could do. Conservatives, Catholics, and Christians in general have a radically different understanding of what a “vocation” is than the feminist ridiculing Harrison Butker.

Vocation comes from the Latin vocationem meaning a calling or to be called. Traditionally this meant a spirtual calling. More specifically a vocation is a calling to serve God. As Saint Francis de Sales said “a true vocation is nothing other than the firm and constant will possessed by the person called, to want to serve God in the manner and in the place where the Divine Majesty calls her”¹. In other words a vocation is to do the will of God in our daily lives. This is in stark contrast to the secular meaning of vocation as career or occupation. This isn't to suggest that a particular career for a particular individual cannot not be a proper vocation. For example, God can call people to pediatric oncology. The point is that a career in and of itself is not a vocation.

God's initial calling is through grace, Baptism and Confirmation. Each individual can follow God's call in their own unique way as single, married, Holy Orders, or a consecrated life (e.g. nun). However, the majority of men are not called to ordained ministry and the majority of women are not called to a consecrated life. Thus the primary vocation of men and women is the Sacrament of Marriage:

God is love and in himself he lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in his own image . . .. God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion."¹¹⁵

"God created man in his own image . . . male and female he created them";¹¹⁶ He blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and multiply";¹¹⁷ "When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Man when they were created."¹¹⁸

Mariage is the conjugal union of one man and one woman which obliges them to live together throughout life each with a unique, but complementary vocation as husband and father and wife and mother respectively. The Sacrament is also called matrimony, wedlock, and nuptials because each is representative of a distinct aspect of marriage. The word matrimony “is derived from the fact that the principal object which a female should propose to herself in marriage is to become a mother; or from the fact that to a mother it belongs to conceive, bring forth and train her offspring.” It is also called wedlock meaning “joining together, because a lawful wife is united to her husband, as it were, by a common yoke” and it is called nuptials because “the bride veiled her face through modesty a custom which would also seem to imply that she was to be subject and obedient to her husband.” Within a marriage men and women have distinct, but complementary roles:

It is the duty of the husband to treat his wife generously and honourably. It should not be forgotten that Eve was called by Adam his companion. The woman, he says, whom thou gavest me as a companion. Hence it was, according to the opinion of some of the holy Fathers, that she was formed not from the feet but from the side of man; as, on the other hand, she was not formed from his head, in order to give her to understand that it was not hers to command but to obey her husband.

The husband should also be constantly occupied in some honest pursuit with a view to provide necessaries for the support of his family and to avoid idleness, the root of almost every vice.

He is also to keep all his family in order, to correct their morals, and see that they faithfully discharge their duties.

On the other hand, the duties of a wife are thus summed up by the Prince of the Apostles: Let wives be subject to their husbands, that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word by the conversation of the wives, considering your chaste conversation with fear. Let not their adorning be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: but the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.

To train their children in the practice of virtue and to pay particular attention to their domestic concerns should also be especial objects of their attention. The wife should love to remain at home, unless compelled by necessity to go out; and she should never presume to leave home without her husband's consent.

Again, and in this the conjugal union chiefly consists, let wives never forget that next to God they are to love their husbands, to esteem them above all others, yielding to them in all things not inconsistent with Christian piety, a willing and ready obedience.

Through Baptism all Christians share in Christ's offices as priest, prophet, and king. As priest we are called to consecrate the world to God through works, prayers, and daily responsibilities. As prophet we bear witness to the truth in word and deed. As king we lead others and advance the Kingdom of God. Leadership roles include public office, commercial life, parenthood, and husband. It is as husband and father that men participate directly in the three simultaneous offices of Christ as priest, prophet, and king within their households.² The wife is second in command and must obey her husband in all things not inconsistent with Christian piety. Upon entering the marriage the woman has consented to the general authority of her husband.

In general, most women are called to domestic life and motherhood. As Butker pointed out, most women will find fulfillment in motherhood. Likewise, most men are called to married life. The occupation most men find themselves in is an instrument of their true vocation as loving husband and father, rather than a vocation itself. This does not mean that both men and women cannot have multiple spiritual callings, but simply that marriage is the most ordinary and primary vocation.

Butker congratulated the graduating women on a job well done and didn't ridicule women for wanting a successful career. However, the “diabolical lie” that Butker spoke of is that women can do it all. There will always be trade-offs and opportunity costs. More time spent managing the widget factory is less time managing the home. A mothers stewardship of the home should take priority over the bottom line of the corporation. The fact that liberal women find this problematic illustrates the inverted priorities of the feminist mind. It is not a coincidence that the same women who find this problematic are the same women who would not hesitate to murder their children in the womb.

It is important to recognize the clear distinction between a single woman and a married woman. Single women are not subject to the authority of men or to any particular man. Of course they are subject to the authority of the Church, the authority of the state, the authority of their employer as we all are. What Butker didn't say, but what feminist wrongly inferred is that it is intrinsically sinful for women to work outside the home. The general Catholic consensus is that it is perfectly licit for unmarried women to work outside the home. Where there is a fruitful discussion is to what extent married women are permitted to work outside the home. At the far end of one spectrum is the opinion that it is never licit for a married woman to work outside the home. On the far end of the other are the so called Christian feminist. I take a more balanced approach. There are Magisterial documents that presumably teach that married women should never leave the home. However, these older documents must be read in continuity with later Magisterial documents. The weight of authority, the historical context, if applicable, must also be taken into consideration. To get a concrete conclusion requires an in depth study of the Magisterium that it is far beyond this post.

What we do know is that “God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation” of marriage. Marriage is a natural institution where men and women fulfill their natural ends. This natural institution was elevated to a sacrament by Jesus Christ. Thus it is evident that the primary vocation of most men and women is marriage. At the very least each woman should prioritize marriage and motherhood over career. Within a marriage it is also evident that the husband is the head of the household:

‬Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.³

As with authority in general “subordinate…in everything” does not include anything in opposition to Christian piety. In other words, a wife is not obligated to obey any command to sin or to do anything contrary to reason. In general the husband and wife should work together to accomplish the same goal. The wife is second in command with an important advisory role. A husband should value his wife's opinion even if the final decision is his.

The Roman Catechism was published in 1566 primarily for parish priests, but also to give instruction to the Catholic laity. This is the catechism that is often referenced by those defending the proposition that married women should never work outside the home. The relevant passage is the “wife should love to remain at home, unless compelled by necessity to go out.” I agree that a wife should prioritize domestic life above her career. The fact that the Roman Catechism leaves room for a necessity to go out contradicts the proposition that it is intrinsically evil for a woman to work outside the home for it is never necessary to commit evil. It also doesn't specify what exactly is necessary. It could be a financial necessity, necessary for mental health and happiness, etc. What is necessary in any given circumstance is up to the prudential judgment of the husband. Although not intrinsically evil, if working outside the home causes a woman to neglect her obligations as wife and mother, then it is extrinsically evil.

It is clear that it is not intrinsically evil for married woman to work outside the home, although it can be extrinsically evil in certain circumstances. This requires a balance between family and work that is unique to women. In 2004 the Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith released On the Collaboration of Men and Women in The Church and in the World explaining this unique challenge:

…it cannot be forgotten that the interrelationship between these two activities – family and work – has, for women, characteristics different from those in the case of men. The harmonization of the organization of work and laws governing work with the demands stemming from the mission of women within the family is a challenge. The question is not only legal, economic and organizational; it is above all a question of mentality, culture, and respect. Indeed, a just valuing of the work of women within the family is required. In this way, women who freely desire will be able to devote the totality of their time to the work of the household without being stigmatized by society or penalized financially, while those who wish also to engage in other work may be able to do so with an appropriate work-schedule, and not have to choose between relinquishing their family life or enduring continual stress, with negative consequences for one's own equilibrium and the harmony of the family.

The modern liberal not only does not prioritize domestic life and motherhood, but actively disdain women who do. The unhinged reaction to Harrison Butker praising his wife for taking care of the household and children illustrates the point. Part of this reaction stems from the feminist obsession with power. Feminist often view men and women in an internal struggle for power, rather than complementary and necessary for each other. In a recent interview with Pope Francis, Norah O'Donnell exemplifies the feminist mind when she claimed Pope Francis has done “more than any Pope to bring women into positions of power.” This came after Pope Francis affirmed that the Catholic Church has infallibly declared that women cannot be ordained. Holy Orders are only for men. The problem is that feminist view ordination as a position of power rather than a position to serve God. The Catechism of the Catholic Church expains that the sacrament of Holy Orders “configures the recipient to Christ by a special grace of the Holy Spirit, so that he may serve as Christ's instrument for his Church. By ordination one is enabled to act as a representative of Christ, Head of the Church, in his triple office of priest, prophet, and king.”

The feminist take on Holy Orders as “positions of power” is simular to how they view marriage. Rather than husband and wife having distinct roles aimed at a common goal, the authority of the husband and his primary role as provider is seen as a “position of power” while “homemaker” is viewed as a position of slavery. In reality the masculine and feminine roles as husband and father and wife and mother are positions of sacrifice and servitude. They are true vocations.

Harrison Butker's intention was to be courageous and speak the truth, but he obviously knew there would be some kind of negative response:

Our Catholic faith has always been countercultural. Our Lord, along with countless followers, were all put to death for their adherence to her teachings. The world around us says that we should keep our beliefs to ourselves whenever they go against the tyranny of diversity, equity, and inclusion. We fear speaking truth, because now, unfortunately, truth is in the minority.

However, this isn't some great insight or discovery of Butker’s, but was prophesied by our Lord who said “you will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to the end will be saved.⁴

1. Spiritual Conferences, 17

2. Timothy Gordon, The Case for Patriarchy (Crisis Publications, 2021), 184.

3. ‭Ephesians 5:22-24 NABRE

4. ‭Matthew 10:22 NABRE